Dear Lindan,
It is your fourth birthday and I am simply marveling at the
boy you are becoming. It has been a year of growth for everyone as parenting a
3, now 4, year old boy can be a challenging task. I want nothing more than to
see you become the strong, independent, sensitive, loving, energetic, brave,
smart, shy, silly boy that you are. No doubt that along the way, and every day,
you have the ability to illicit the widest range of emotions I've known. Joy.
Pride. Elation. Frustration. Exacerbation. And everything in between.
Now you will pick out your own clothes (sport shorts and
jerseys only) and get dressed all by yourself. You like to walk to Oma and
Papa's house all by yourself. You like to help fold the napkins in the laundry
and "vacuum" alongside me. You help scrub our toilets.
You carry around your multitude of snugglies in the mornings
and sleep with them every night. You wear sunglasses when you wake up in the
morning because the sun is too bright. You want to save the wrappers for your
cheese sticks because they have characters on them. You dance like the judges
are watching. You love to perform "tricks". You are still sensitive
enough that we need to skip the sad or scary parts in books or movies. You want
to be showered by "lots of kisses" every night in your bed. And they
make you "cold" with goose bumps.
We read books together and you will read them back to us.
You sing loud nonsense songs frequently (especially when trying not to fall
asleep). You wear your swim cap and goggles in the bath tub so that you can
"swim, bike, run". You still ride laps around our living room and
love to play "football" from the kitchen to the couch (complete with
a lot of tackling). Your sneakers are your "fast shoes" and boy do
you run. You love to race your hot wheels on your track or in the dirt.
Your new favorite play includes lots of pretending.
Pretending to be a baby, a puppy, a cat. We often play the part of any animal
family that shows up in your bedtime stories. "Mom, can we be
koalas?" We play doctor and animal shelter and kitchen. You love to empty
the kitchen cupboards to make your drum kit (and play along with loud rock 'n
roll). And we pretend superheroes, but you get all the cool costumes.
I feel the weight of you when you want to be held and know
that the days are numbered when I will be able to carry you, and that you will
want me to. Spinning you round and round for a game of Ring Around the Rosy, I
look down at your belly-button high face, alight with a priceless grin, and try
to etch that moment into my heart and hold this memory of you there forever.
Giggles and all. So many of these moments slip, fade away, into a blur of
happiness. It's nice to hang on to just a few.
I hope you look back at this letter when you are 14 or 44
and remember just how much you are unconditionally loved. Always.
With 4 bushels, 4
pecks, and 4 hugs,
Your Mama (forever)
