Smitten

Time is flying by as I count the days of pure love for this boy.
Thinking back on the first 24 hours in the hospital when he just slept and we just looked at him in wonder.
Wow. He was inside me!
Yeah. We get to keep him.
So much time is spent with his ear close to my lips, whispering sweet messages to this boy I get to call my son.

There were a couple nights of frustration while we learned our nursing routine together. I'm not sure he knew what he was getting into when he signed up for rookie parents.
I was lucky to have great lactation support while I was in the hospital and will be forever grateful for the nursing help from Marian and to have had nurses like Leighann. Certain people have a gift for what they do and should take pride and pleasure in the celebration of a great latch and let down. Or the joy in helping you laugh at your old lady hunch as you shuffle to the bathroom for the first time after they remove your catheter.
Healing is a powerful business.

Now the routine at home is becoming more routine. Lindan eats every hour and a half to two hours. Sleeps a lot. Gazes contentedly into my face making me feel like the most beautiful woman in the world. I just get to whisper, I'm your mommy, and grin.
It's tiring but I'm in love with every minute of it. Even when he peed through our pajamas twice in one night (darn newborn diapers) and even when he just wanted to suck on my finger for an hour instead of letting me sleep.
It broke my heart to lay him in his crib last night and not spend all night with him on my chest. He just seemed so far away. I was grateful when he got fussy enough that I could resume my cuddle guilt-free and let him nuzzle down into my chest, skin to skin.
We've been loving our stream of visitors who have been taking care of us well. Then its just fun to watch them enjoy this boy almost as much as we do. Its such a blessing to have my mom here for this time too. I don't know how I'd do it without her. She's the one calming him down with sweet Oma songs and keeping watch so I can shower now that Todd's working again. She's also the one who makes me sit still and nap while I can.
And then there is daddy Todd, who is completely smitten at the wonder of this boy. His little hands. His long fingers and toes. His baby reflexes to root or stretch. His tiny little bum. His cry that sounds like a seagull. The sheer power of his suck. His hair that gets a little crazy. His ability to melt your heart.
Yes, I guess we're all a little smitten around here.